Government of country exporting world beating CV-19 mutants debating where to take its hols this summer

HEAD BASH WALL : THE UK maybe in the grip of a pandemic so fatally mismanaged that nearly half of its fatalities have occurred in just the last couple of months, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to clean up the messaging surrounding summer holidays. Costa del Sol or Cornwall? So hard to decide.

“To be fair, anywhere not governed by the incredible dynamism of Johnson and Gove is bound to be a popular choice for Global Britons,” our Tourism expert opines. “I mean just imagine waking up one morning to find yourself living under the reign of terror of Jacinda Ardern? You’d have a right tingle up your spine.”

Australia, Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam, South Korea and others are also thought to be popular destinations for lockdown ministers with one hand hovering over Expedia and another on their diary. Those summer holidays are very long if you’re an MP.

“But let’s not forget France and the Costa del Sol. The traditional British destinations are still high on the list of places we aim to visit in Summer 2021. World beating tourist destinations.”

And while the speculation over whether to go to Malaga or even stay in the UK and infest Cornwall is understandable, some minor voices are suggesting other forces may intercede.

“Other countries mostly,” our expert shrugs. “They may bizarrely decide to control their borders. It will be a baffling sight. We may learn how to do it if we watch closely. The motivation could be our ramped up ability to mutate CV-19 at home. We’re not specifically doing it for the export market, but that’s the end result. Maybe the entire Earth will decide to tell us to stay the fuck at home and deal with the Johnson shitshow? It’s too early to tell.”

Newlyn or Seville? Where do you want to take your local CV-19 variant this summer?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *