HAVING A FRIEND TO DINNER : DOWNING STREET HAVE DENIED A FABRICATED LEAK WHICH SAYS THAT THEY HAVE DRAWN UP PLANS TO FEED BRITONS TO BRITONS.
The leak to LCD Views is in the form of a revealing email that contains several non-existent attachments.
“The attachments are mostly spreadsheets and calculations of when the food runs out. Not just the fresh food, which is already mostly absent from everywhere, but the sort of exclusive club that will fly you to the UAE for a vaccine.”
Under the plans the UK will not need to betray Brexit by asking the EU to allow us to re-enter the SM and CU, but can instead feed on itself.
“Clearly there will be a clash with social distancing measures as people will need to get rather close to strangers in order to eat them. But it’s not yet clear if families will be happy dining indoors? Although some suggest this is just because Mr Johnson himself never spends any time with his children.”
The legalising of cannibalism will also alleviate the now ritual shame cycle of Marcus Rashford having to embarrass Boris Johnson into feeding people ten years of idiotic economic policies have driven into poverty.
“Now is not the time to betray Brexit,” the covering note to the calculations state, “not when we have the ability to feed ourselves at home.”
But while the plans demonstrate a previously missing ability to forward plan by the government, it hasn’t left everyone satiated.
“We’re still at risk of scurvy,” a critical note asserts, “at least until the new citrus groves planted yesterday by John Redwood being to bear fruit.”