Introducing new Viflagra to keep your flag flying high

Gentlemen, are your standards dropping? Are you only flying at half-mast? Are you worried that she’ll leave you if your flag isn’t flying high? Well worry no more. At last, the new wonder-drug you’ve been longing for is here!

Introducing . . . VIFLAGRA!

Viflagra has been clinically tested and proven to keep your flag flying high on a good solid pole!

Just one of these little red, white and blue pills will enable you to wave your flag all night long without it ever drooping!

Viflagra comes recommended from no less a source than Boris Johnson himself!

“I’d heard tales about men losing their ability to wave their flags as they got older,” Boris said. “Not that it had ever happened to me, gosh no, that would never happen to old Bozza, course not! But I figured it might help make my flag fly even higher, and phwoarrrh, doesn’t it just! Just one of these pills got me seeing red, white and blue all night. I got my wife and my bit on the side waving my flag on the same night and it was just fantastic! I mean obviously I didn’t tell either of them about the other – you will edit this bit out won’t you? Don’t want them knowing I’m a cheater do we, gosh no!”

So there you have it. Viflagra, as endorsed by no less an organ than our own glorious leader in residence! Just take one pill and you’ll be seeing fifty shades of red, white and blue flying high all night!

Caution: Side effects of Viflagra include becoming a stupid bigot that nobody in their right mind would want to shag in the first place.

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