WHAT WHO ME : OUTGOING BRITISH PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON IS FACING FRESH strife TODAY as Tory Party MPs demand access to their Twitter accounts.
Shortly after lunch time GMT, as news broke that President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris had taken the lead in Pennsylvania, feverish MPs began to gather outside 10 Downing Street. And usually, it wasn’t Covid-19 that had them hot under the collar today.
Social distancing rules were tossed aside as the gaggle of frantic meat puppets banged limply with lettuce fists on the famous black door to No 10.
“Is the password MAGA2020?”
and,
“Is my password OvenReadyIdiot?”
MPs were heard shouting, but they received no answer from inside.
“More fool them,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, “thinking that Boris would actually be inside. He’s in a grace and favour property, or Tuscany. Or on a date. Anywhere that says holiday and nowhere that says work.”
But fools or not, worried MPs they are. As it’s unlikely they’ll be winning hearts and minds across the pond with the faecal stained timelines that have their mugs above them.
“So what if their timelines after littered with alt-right propaganda targeted at Joe Biden? It’s not their accounts. We can put what we want out in their name. Hell, one or two of them even do it for themselves. The ones we really trust. The exceptionally stupid.”
Whether or not the MPs will be successful in giving their social media accounts a fast colonic isn’t yet clear, but they want to hurry up, as the defeat of Donald Trump spells bad news for the trans-Atlantic, neofeudalist, kleptocratic network.
“Dominic Cummings will keep posting on their timelines whatever he likes,” the source added, “if he’s going down they’re all coming with him.”