Johnson reassures that with friends like Trump he won’t rush to make us more enemies

Boris Johnson was under pressure today to reassure an anxious United Kingdom that with friends like Donald Trump he will personally do his best not to make the UK any new enemies.

The demand follows on from the latest tweets by the orange skinned argument for birth control who is currently running America on behalf of Russia.

“It’s entirely sensible not to sour relations with anyone beyond the EU27,” Mr Johnson was said to have replied, “I mean, after the twenty seven, aah, former friends across the channel, who are already anxious of how much flesh the rampaging British lion is going to do to their export markets once we leave the EU and can no longer afford to import prosecco, aah, it will be entirely insensible to cheese off anyone new, aaah, with our idiot, racist, dangerous demagogue friend Mr Trump retweeting racist hate speech posted originally by a community organisation famous for fabricating complete bollocks out of a frankly bizarre and disgusting desire to provoke a race war.”

Unfortunately the rest of the governing coalition at Westminster don’t seem so ready to follow the foreign secretary’s lead, while they will pay lip service to outrage.

Trump is still welcome to a state visit even though he is retweeting racist, Nazi garbage, because apparently he’s our friend.

LCD Views community health analyst had this to say,

“It makes you wonder how that old saying, you can judge a person by the company they keep, applies to the UK these days? We’re leaving a union of 27 largely progressive democracies busying enshrining human rights into law and aligning ourselves with a lazy, insecure hate filled man who’ll probably start WW3 just to find a new low to sink to.”

It doesn’t stack up well. We should think about the company we plan on keeping.

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