MAKING AN EXAMPLE OF HIMSELF : UK’s sovereign powers ruler Boris Johnson has temporarily broken free of “babysitting” duties this week and made a dash to Scotland.
And it’s not just dodging getting dragged into “girls’ jobs” about the home that sees the prolific inseminator crossing the shifting borders of the United Kingdom. He’s preserving a 400 year old Union on his mind.
”The dangers to the integrity of our country posed by my own actions can not be overstated,” the PM warned the Scots. “Which is why I have travelled here today for a few hours by jet, with my extensive entourage, and hopefully not that pesky virus, but you can’t be sure with me and my mates. We tend to be lazy about rules to protect others, and infectious. It makes us fun! Never know what we’ll do next! Huzzah!”
But what Boris Johnson will do next maybe a mystery, to no one but Boris Johnson, what the Scots are likely to do is looking increasingly certain.
“I implore you today to listen to the complete, 100%, unadulterated horseshit myself and my MPs spout about Scotland having already made its choice to stay in the deep, enduring, national friendships with benefits. Just because you decided to stay because you were warned by people like me that leaving meant leaving the European Union. And then I went and dragged you out of the EU right after. That’s no reason to stop me having access to the bedchamber! Wazaaah!”
But the PM of the United Kingdom had more convincing advice to peddle.
“Take Brexit for example. We spent years achieving it, did zero planning for it, have no idea now where we’re going. You don’t want to do that! Between you and me, behind closed doors, it’s bloody frightening! Ha! Now let’s toss each other’s cabers and forget about the social distancing?”