Katie Hopkins announced as new leader of The Conservative Party

HATEKINS GONNA HATE : INVIGORATING NEWS FOR BOTH FAUX PATRIOTS AND OUTRAGE MERCHANTS TODAY, as the Conservative Party takes a bold step in the same direction.

“We are delighted to announce that global superstar Katie Hopkins is to assume the leadership of our party,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views.

The news will come as a shock for many though, who had anticipated Ms Hopkins taking on the mantle of joint leader of Nigel Farage’s new party. But it seems Mr Farage doesn’t need any help shouting at small boats, and ruining the fishing industry.

Further speculation that Ms Hopkins was to accept the job of creative director for Parler is clearly also incorrect, as Parler has ceased to be.

“Ms Hopkins brings a wealth of experience in establishing false narratives in the public domain and will build on the work of her predecessor Boris Johnson.”

Earlier media reports had suggested that Ms Hopkins was to become leader of UKIP, the first in ten leaders expected this year alone, but they appear to have been fake news.

“I will correct you there,” the Downing Street source admonished, “UKIP is the policy engine of the Conservative Party, and given their support of Brexit, a bafflingly sizeable chunk of the official opposition’s policy bandwidth. So to assume the leadership of UKIP is to assume the leadership of the Tories and the country.”

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