HAMMER AND TONG : The UK’s super league trade negotiator Liz Truss has got everyone right where she wants them. This goes for the Aussies too.
“They can’t bring sandpaper to this fight,” a DIT aide tells LCD Views. “We’ll frisk them upon entry. Liz has it all lined up. The way to both decrease our carbon footprint and crush the bloody Aussies is all in the mind.”
In the mind of Liz Truss. A sparkling palace with mirrored halls if ever there was one.
“The uncomfortable chair wheeze was just to soften him up. Let him know he’s now fighting to earn his place in the super league of global trade. We’ve got more though. Like a prize fighter Liz is going to keep hitting him till he’s on his knees.”
The next meeting will see further left hooks, upper cuts, right jabs and even a full nut.
“She’ll give him a hat with corks hanging off it next. That will completely baffle him as he’ll likely be looking to give her one. Then she’ll ask if he had a kangaroo as a pet growing up? And how come he hasn’t been eaten by a shark while playing golf?”
Once the Aussie guy is battered and bruised, desperate for a way out, then Liz will hit him square in the guts with a move that will see him agree to anything.
“Once he’s on the ropes that’s when she finishes him off by reading him a selection of her own poetry. Roses are red, violets are blue, but my flag is much bigger than you. That sort of stuff. Ring a ring a ring a rosie, a pocket full of how’s it going Sheila! It’s Bruce! That’s her more experimental work.”
Throw another shrimp on the barbie! Liz Truss is taking down the Aussies!