Matt Hancock said he only accepted shares in his sister’s company to test his eyesight

HALL OF FAME : Matt Hancock is a man who knows how to take care of himself, his friends and his family. There’s no crime in that.

Happily some sections of the media are willing to bring Matt’s altruism to public attention, or we may not have found out just how generous is his spirit.

“It’s not a conflict of interests if you care deeply about the people you’re awarded contracts to without tender,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “The only sin the Health Secretary has committed is being found out. He would like to project a tough, no nonsense approach, but clearly he wears his heart on his sleeve.”

The overly sentimental streak may indeed be a strong family trait, judging by the shareholders of the family company Matt has been awarding valuable public money to.

“Obviously some have seized the wrong end of the stick and cry that a public servant should not profit off the decisions he makes while discharging the responsibilities of his office. But that’s just discriminatory. It would be punishing Matt for serving the public if he had to exclude himself and his family.”

Weirdly though certain sections of the public, and even some opposition MPs aren’t convinced all is above board.

“We’ll change the rules then, to keep them happy and stop all the whining. It’s very distracting. And clearly Matt has the Barnard Castle Defence to fall back on. He only gifted the company he and his family own a government contract to test his eyesight. Dom established that as a principle of Johnson’s government. The public accepted it. It’s valid. Besides, what are you going to do about it?”

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