The Prime Minister is rumoured to be behind a front page portrait festival on the cover of the Torygraph today to warn mutineer Tory MPs to stop meddling in her autocracy.
It’s believed fifteen rebel MPs have already told the whip they will not vote for complete and absolute lunacy, couple with autocratic powers for the government, when it comes time to put their hands up over the EU Withdrawal Bill.
“Clearly some of us will vote for something a little fruity and crazy. Just not full blown madness,” one rebel told LCD anonymously.
This vicious rebuke is said to have the PM and the coup leaders keeping her captive livid.
It’s not all bad news for the government though. Various Labour MPs named mostly after agricultural matters, such as Field and Hoe-y, are prepared to make up for the alarming shortfall in reckless ignorance of fact, should it be needed when the time comes.
“We don’t know what old Corbyn will do when it comes to it either,” an avid Westminster watching said, “he’s throwing down a few red lines in the past and then just voted with May anyway.”
But just maybe now, with enough red lights flashing warning that the country is flying headfirst into the fan, Labour will finally go Gandalf on Brexit.
“That would bring down the government,” the watcher noted, “presumably that’s what Labour and even the sane Tories want?”
Presumably.
In the meantime we will be framing the front page and putting it on the wall in the kitchenette of our headquarters, just to know, that somewhere in government, a lucid sense of what is democratic still survives.