Michael Gove says U.K. will use its “veto” over EU laws on trade

GETTING A GOVE ON : The UK’s prime minister in waiting, Michael Gove, has fired a shot across the bowels of the EU.

The decision to get hot and heavy has not been influenced by narcotics, unless you include heavy hits of denial of reality.

“Michael thinks it’s high time the U.K. flexed it’s muscles in Europe,” a spokesman for an international pharmaceutical importer told LCD Views. “That’s why he’s threatening to use the UK’s veto over EU laws and decision making.”

Critics have been quick to point out that the U.K. threw away its powerful veto card along with its fishing industry, international reputation and collective bargaining power when it got Brexit done, but that’s no obstacle to Gove.

“So? Gove governs the U.K. successfully by gaslight. That’s nearly 70m people. I think he can handle the few dozen that make up the EU commission.”

The strategy it seems is to pretend the U.K. still has its seat at the EU’s decision making table. If we show enough self-belief they’ll just fall into line.

“We’re demanding the EU not treat us like a third country, even though we demanded the EU make us a third country. So to now waltz into Brussels and act like we still hold the power of a first country, because we’re British, will see them so confused they’ll agree to anything. Classic Gove. Don’t let your enemy believe any words or actions have any meanings, especially not the meaning you yourself previously applied to them. Just keep their heads spinning.”

It’s believed the strategy will quickly solve the customs border issues in Northern Ireland, without the ridiculous necessity of the U.K. government taking responsibility for its own decisions.

“Remember, once we leave the EU we hold all the cards. And that includes our veto over their decisions.”

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