Moz the Monster from John Lewis Xmas ad to undergo treatment for cookie addiction

Scandal has gripped the headquarters of the department store John Lewis this afternoon with the shock revelation that Moz has booked himself into The Priory for treatment to cookie addiction.

An insider who claims to work at the famous clinic phoned LCD Views to speak of his dread at the latest celebrity client.

“It’s going to get messy,” Tru Knot told us, “as I’ve heard one of the biggest problems on the set of the advert was the lack of house training prior to luring Moz out of the forest to take the job of monster under the bed.”

It’s believed Moz has succumbed to the pressure of fame and fortune like so many naive instant stars down through the decades.

“Cookie addiction is a tough one to beat. You normally have to prescribe bland crackers of some variety to manage the cravings, but whether or not Moz can resist sneaking out at night and raiding the shelves of an off license is anyone’s guess.”

Complicating matters is believed to be another addiction to the harder substance of Ben and Jerry’s “Cookie Dough” ice cream.

“That stuff really is the crystal meth of cookie substances. It’s incredibly hard to kick the habit. All it takes is one scoop and you’re normally in for the whole tub.”

We are still waiting for an official response from the famous retailer. It’s thought they are swinging between distancing themselves from the scandal and offering to take Moz home.

“I’d lock him in his room. Timber and nails across the door time. Give him a bucket and a pile of tomato soup tins and just force him to go cold turkey. And be ready for the screaming.

And whatever you do, don’t let the Cookie Monster visit him. It’s likely he’s the one who started all this nonsense in the first place.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *