NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT : Wonderful news for patriots today with the announcement that MPs are to receive a £3,300 pay rise.
The decision to give them a boost is entirely uncontroversial at a time when the government can be barely be bothered to give nurses a clap.
“Your MPs work tirelessly for the unelected bureaucrat Dom,” a spokesman for Downing Street told LCD Views, “while some MPs rudely question Matt Hancock from the other side of the green benches, and don’t even get me started on the bloody Jocks, the majority of MPs are Tory MPs and they deserve the additional money for not thinking for themselves.”
The money will certainly come in useful. Recent analysis shows that for some completely bizarre reason, since 2016, food costs in the UK are only rising.
“It was the right move to give MPs £10,000 each at the start of the endless disaster that is Covid-19. And it’s the right decision to give them thousands more now when you consider how busy mass unemployment will soon make them.”
What the MPs will do with the extra isn’t entirely clear, given that they don’t have to pay their own mortgages.
They just basically have to do what they are told to by the kleptofascist, international crime syndicate that has taken over the UK by way of a fucked up, dodgy, corrupted opinion poll back in 2016, that our political class should have been trusted to see through and deal with, based on the blood drenched lessons of the major, global conflicts of the 20th century.
Revolutionary communists, pretending to be socialists, to one side at the time and libertarian nightmares, pretending to be patriots, to the other, now stuck in a kleptocracy with you. Well done all. Have a round of applause.
“And besides,” the source interrupts this newspaper’s enraged diatribe, “the MPs need the pay rise to cope with the rising cost of living caused by the decision of the MPs.”