MPs vote to have no say over trade deals out of concern it would get in the way of their holidays

LASTPARLIAMENT.COM : TORY MPS in the UK parliament voted overwhelmingly last night not to have any say in the negotiation and ratification of all the super fantastic new trade deals trade supremoes Raab and Truss are currently cooking up.

“It’s why we took back control from the EU in the first place,” one told LCD Views, “sovereignty. We won’t have UK trade policy decided in Brussels, with our input and our veto, it’s undemocratic. It’s about protecting the national interest from the bullying EU and its 700 million citizens. You remember when the little Belgian district of Wallonia refused to ratify that monster trade deal? The UK won’t stand for it. Big international players being held to ransom by small representative parliaments? What would the billionaires say? We didn’t stand for that. Now we’re free we don’t stand for anything. We’re elected representatives. We stood for that. Job for life, potentially, if you play your cards right and don’t cheese off Cummings. You know Dom? He’s the unelected bureaucrat now running the UK.”

And while it’s clear that the sovereignty and power of the elected representatives of the UK populace are only enhanced by having less to do with the country’s governance, we are still a little curious as to their real motivations.

So we dug a little deeper.

Essentially we got a newly elected Tory MP (who will remain anonymous – as we’ve invented them for the purpose of this article) hammered and demanded to know why they voted to give the executive more power, and parliament less. More so when one of the main rallying cries of the Brexiteers was to enhance the sovereignty of the UK’s parliament.

“Is this about food standards? Well that’s pretty bloody obvious. If you don’t have any standards you don’t have to worry about them. See? Just logical. Just like having less power to make laws. Less laws to worry about. It’s actually highly productive. I’m far more productive as a legislator if I’ve less to legislate on. And besides, I was only selected because I’m thick as two short planks crossbred with a packet of mince, and unswervingly dedicated to Brexit. You don’t expect me to understand anything as complex as a trade deal? Ha! You libtards make me laugh.”

But that wasn’t all. The prime driver was revealed right at the end of the session.

“Beshides…hic…wen I a…a…greed [emphasis on the greed]…to stand in the Red Wall against the com…comm…commies…hic…I was told it’s a plum job. You GET ALL SUMMER OFF ON FULL PAY. Amazshin. Soooo me old chum, if I was to vote to have a shay over trade thingies, well, it wud get in the sways of my shummer holidays! Ha! And I did not shign up for tat!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *