No country is an island, says Grant Shapps

CONTINENTAL DRIFT: Or when is an island not an island? Geographically challenged charlatan Grant Shapps has weighed in, incontinently. 

You can’t compare like and like. Comparisons between comparable companions are incompatible. Contrary contrarians are confused. 

This is the latest attempt to deflect cantankerous covid criticism. The logic is world beating. The UK couldn’t close its borders like Australia did, because it isn’t as big. 

Size clearly matters. Shapps insists you can’t do the same things with a small one as you can with a large one. You can’t use the same protection on a little one, one size doesn’t fit all. 

It’s indicative of how far we have fallen, that a man is going onto TV to insist that he has a little one, which is why he refused to do the deed. Little man Shapps refused to put the dick into indicative.

This limp response to a colossal cock up is the main reason that the country has been shafted by covid. No protective ring, no arms wrapped around the country, no forming a square. Now they send out nonentities like Shapps to argue over semantics. 

Australia’s antipodean neighbour, New Zealand, has also performed admirably to close its borders and keep covid out. NZ might be a better comparison size wise, which is presumably why Shapps omitted to mention it. 

It’s very odd that a government, which boasts about ending free movement of people and controlling borders, then fails to do either. 

“We’re all in it together,” Shapps said, desperately failing to gather some crumbs of reason from his disastrous statement. “No country is an island, not Australia, not England. Australia is simply too big, and England has some other countries joined on around the edges. Nobody could have foreseen this, except the foreigners, and anyway Brexit will cure covid. Fact!” 

Now that’s good news. Someone tell Dido Harding to return that £22bn now it’s no longer necessary. 

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