Now “pointless” to publish Intel Report into Russian Interference in UK Democracy as “UK no longer a democracy”

START ON 23/06/16 AND MOVE FORWARD : FOREIGN (TO GEOGRAPHY) SECRETARY DOMINIC RAAB has addressed the matter of the long overdue Intelligence Report into Russian Interference into UK Democracy today.

“While our security correspondent has only seen Twitter takes on Dom’s tele outing this morning,” LCD Views Foreign Affairs Editor comments, “and by seen I mean the most cursory of glances, we feel confident we can make up the entire story. Laced with some facts of course, as is standard.”

And the story appears to be welcome clarification as to why the government has not yet released the report.

“Don’t listen to the explanation that it can’t be released because the Intelligence Committee hasn’t yet been reformed, following last December’s election,” our correspondent comments, “that’s clearly a load of bollocks as it’s up to Prime Minister Cummings to form the committee. Classic gaslighting of the public.”

That makes sense, although doesn’t sound much like democracy. It’s a wonder MPs put up with it? Frogs in the slow boiling pot?

“There’s also the matter that there may actually be nothing to see in the report, apart from a rather lengthy list of donations from Kremlin linked figures to the Conservatives. And given Corbyn’s former spin doctor/handler is not exactly bereft of Putin associations, maybe it’s a cross party initiative? Bloody embarrassing for all concerned? Best keep it under wraps and hope the public forget all about it? Which, given they’ll all be jobless, CV-19 wracked and in socially distanced food ration queues shortly, it’s not a bad tactic.”

But surely there’s a better explanation?

“Personally I’d go for it being pointless,” our correspondent comments, “mostly due to having an inappropriate title. Once you allow the future direction of your entire country to be decided on a criminally corrupted, advisory referendum you don’t get to call yourself a democracy. Not in any meaningful sense. Round of applause for parliament please, while we still have it.”

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