THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO SWALLOWED A COVID : REASSURING NEWS FOR ANXIOUS GLOBAL BRITONS TODAY AS THE UK BECOMES THE MOST INFECTIOUS COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
While secondary schools and primaries have closed because of the danger of transmittinh Covid to teachers, other staff, students and thus the broader community, nurseries have remained open.
“This is because we build them tough in Brexit Britain and it is vital the smallest children don’t miss out on their first lessons about WW2. It’s the foundation of the entire school curriculum,” a source liaising between the departments of Health and Education told LCD Views.
But announcing a lockdown and keeping nurseries open has led some unpatriotic types to query the inconsistency? But our source has the answers to reassure you.
“It is the case that secondary schools were safe until they weren’t,” the source acknowledged, “and it is the case that primaries were also safe until they weren’t. Personally I blame the last Labour government, they should have done more to make the school infrastructure Covid secure. But we are where we are.”
And where we are is that nurseries are apparently completely safe.
“This is because the smallest of children are unlikely to show the symptoms of Covid infection, thus making them safe. If people don’t see symptoms in other people then they probably won’t know who infected them. Track and Trace certainly won’t let them into the secret either! Ha!”
Following the path of the pandemic. The UK government. From cradle to grave…