“Ode to Joy” most popular song to play on tiny violins for Boris Johnson

A FAMILIES MAN : The stud bull of English politics, Boris ‘DNA test required’ Johnson is said to be down in the dumps.

It’s natural to assume that his melancholy state is caused by the revelation that his “Oven Ready” Brexit deal turns out to not even have had its basic ingredients harvested. Not so.

it’s also natural to leap to the conclusion that the cause of his blues is having overseen, while on holiday, a world beating response to the novel cold virus that’s killed 10’s of 1,000’s of his citizens. Don’t worry, it’s not that either. Mr Johnson is no bleeding heart.

Well it has to be the difficult decisions faced as economic meltdown approaches the country, and how to shepherd the flock and the nation’s finances. But that isn’t what is furrowing his chubby brow. It’s okay.

“It’s because he has to walk through his private office to get to his private garden,” a Downing Street insider told LCD Views, “oh and he can’t just bugger off and start an affair to escape childcare duties this time around. It’s horrific. We should be clapping for Boris. Struggling to survive on a paltry £150K a year. It’s amazing he’s not catatonic.”

Britons certainly aren’t, faced with learning of their prime minister’s plight.

They’ve got out their violins. Really, really tiny ones. And they’ve started playing in sympathy. And the most popular song to play?

“Why Ode to Joy. Of course.”

It’s what he will be wanting as he’s finally found to be so very wanting.

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