Owls petition for new collective noun after seeing what’s happening in parliament

A parliament of owls have launched a petition today for English speaking humans to come up with a new collective noun for them after seeing what’s happening in our own parliament.

“We were shocked,” Reginald, barn owl,16, told LCD’s Animals feel fear correspondent. “A few of us decided to fly past your houses of commons earlier in the week and stop by to see how you do things. We were knocked off our perch by the goings on in that old, shiny house.”

It’s seems the wise old birds had their curiosity sparked after hearing that the collective of our brightest and best felt in, their human wisdom, that animals don’t possess sentience.

“Look, we normally believe it’s best to keep out of the way of people, as best we can, excepting a bit of good natured exchange of labour for food, clearing out vermin etc, but this recent decision has our feathers properly ruffled. Have none of you seen crows making tools?”

It’s believed the owls main concern is the sheer illogical nonsense of parliament’s rejection of animals awareness of fear and joy, and their suspicion it’s only being done to pave the way, post Brexit, to massive inhuman farms being constructed by multi-national corporations who will not care for anything but excess profit.

“You need to pick a new name for us and be smart about it. You had been making so much progress in recent years and that has gone into reverse.

Parliament has always seemed a compliment, but now? We’d have to be daft to stick with it. Much like your Brexit, we think your acting like lemmings.”

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