“I stand to profit more than I thought, after seeing the leaked economic report,” said an emerging market specialist, “In fact, I’m a little shocked, but in the right way.”
The merry comment was made to LCD Views after one of our chief editors was awoken early by the unexpected phone call.
“Who’s calling please?” he grumbled back down the line, “is the coffee on?”
“Just think of all the cash I’ve been stockpiling over the years in USD accounts just waiting for the great Brexit train crash! Panama, Panama, I want to wire money back from Panama!”
“Who is this? Jacob? Daniel? Boris? Nigel? Kate? Jeremy? Is that you? If it’s you Jacob, I’ve told you not to call unless you want to practise latin.”
But the happy caller was not dissuaded.
“Maybe I should put some more in Euros too? What do you think?” he asked.
“You’re the emerging market specialist, you tell me.”
“DO YOU KNOW HOW CHEAP THE NHS IS GOING TO BE AFTER THE NO DEAL CRASH?”
“Please stop shouting, I’m only just waking up.”
The line went dead then.
The call wasn’t recorded. The transcript is missing. But I’ll believe our senior staffer, probably.
Especially with the latest leaked forecasts showing that most of the regions of the United Kingdom are promised various levels of doom under any Brexit scenario.
We spoke to our senior investment guru to ask what he will do in advance of the train running off the tracks?
“Don’t invest in car manufacturing in the UK.
Don’t invest in pharma.
Don’t invest in aerospace.
Don’t invest in higher education, the government doesn’t.
Just don’t invest until the crash and it’s time to bring it all back!
Take your money away like everyone else will.
Money will make money, but only if you take a leaf out of the Brexiter’s playbook and prudenter, placerat and keep it offshore until the prunus falces quondam maturavit.”
Finally, some latin at last.