Donald Trump has admitted last night that his claims for wanting tighter gun control were in fact a big hoax.
When the assembled press began asking him if his statement about wanting tighter gun laws was genuine, he replied with the two words, “April fool!”
This statement came as absolutely no surprise on any level. Not only is Mr Trump still very actively in favour of US citizens carrying guns, but he also got the date wrong.
When someone pointed out that it was only the first of March and not April, Mr Trump shrugged and said, “how many April fool gags have their setup the day before? I should think quite a bigly amount, wouldn’t you? Some of them by nicety, uh, nestie, uh, because they need to.”
But this is a full month in advance. The first of April is over four weeks away.
Trump responded in his usual manner.
“Any suggestion that I don’t know when April fools day is,” he said sternly, “is fake news.”
And the rumours that he was ordered to back down on his stance by the NRA?
“That’s fake news too,” he said. “The fakeliest. The Donald isn’t scared of anyone. I could take on the entire NRA unarmed and still kick their asses.”
So what if anything, it was asked, would he be doing on gun laws?
“That’s easy,” Trump replied. “I am signing a new executive order making it compulsory for every American citizen to carry a gun at all times.”
Well, that will certainly have an effect on gun crime statistics. America, the rest of the world is sending thoughts and prayer for you.