News of technological trouble today with the story that Brexit Industry’s new smart phone is coming under fire from early adopters for being unable to send lower case text messages.
”It also adds random exclaimation marks to all text messages and random commas,” LCD Views’ tech correspondent reports, “and most surprisingly it often misspells Inglish!!,!!,!”
Brexit Industry was established in the early 2000’s, when historical amnesia began to become very prominent, and has so far gone from strength to strength. Although recently the company has issued profit warnings.
We texted an unsatisfied customer to find out more.
“ITS A REEL PROBLEM 4 ME,!!!,!!,” Little Tommy texted LCD to complain, “I DUNT ALWAYS WONT TOO TALK TOO OTHER KIPPERS SUMTIMEZ I WANT TOO TEXT MUMM A BOUT NOT MIXIN UP THE COLORS WEN ?!, SHE DOES MY WOSHIN.”
While the release of the Brexit phone has been highly anticipated, it seems it isn’t all it’s stacked up to be by its manufacturers.
“Well, it costs you a lot more to make calls at least,” our tech correspondent commented, “You’ll have to pay through the nose in the EU27 to use it. The battery life is poor and prone to overheating,
“The brightness function is more of a dimness, so that’s fitting. But the permanent caps lock is going to be an issue if you’re going for a job. As unlikely as that will be.”
It seems caps lock in a message is taken as the equivalent of shouting, which isn’t the best way to give emphasis to a well constructed argument relating to the future trading and cultural relationship between the United Kingdom and the European Union.
“Although, if you’re spouting racist gibberish it is quite fitting, so I suspect there is still a niche market for Brexit Industry’s smart phone.”
Won’t the early reviews affect its sales over the longer term?
“Potentially. Although I suspect if they just market the device honestly it will go better.”
And how would you advise them to do that?
“Well, test it first. Extensively. Work out the kinks. And call it a dumb phone. No one but the most credulous or intentionally lazy is going to believe for a moment this is a smart phone.”