Few would dare say it out loud, but at the age of 92 the fact remains that our dearly beloved Queen Elizabeth II is cruising gently to the end of both her reign and indeed her time with us here on earth.
It is a measure of the wisdom and maturity with which she continues to fulfil her role as the mother of the nation that she has not held back from planning for what will be required following her inevitable, but no less mourned, demise, and has made known her wishes for her final resting place.
But while news that the government and the BBC have long been planning for the inevitable passing of our royal head of state and have even designated a special code word “London Bridge is down” for alerting the necessary organs of state her demise, “Her Madge’s” own plans have remained strictly come dancing.
Sorry, strictly under wraps.
Indeed, it has come as some surprise to learn that Madge has chosen to break with long standing traditions that from 1485 to 1820 accorded reigning monarchs a state funeral and burial in Westminster Abbey, and from 1820 onwards a national day of mourning for a state funeral in St George’s chapel, Windsor.
Instead she has let it be known to a select few privy councillors, flunkies, and retainers that she wishes to return to the earlier tradition established by the last Plantagenet monarch Richard III of being buried under a car park.
Richard’s choice was controversial even at the time of his demise in 1485.
Not least because it would be more than 400 years before the first cars were invented and only some years later that their numbers would increase to the point where they would require what were quickly, but erroneously, described as “automotive recreational areas”, or “car parks” for short.
A misnomer, that both traditionalists and visitors to NHS hospitals have long held does accurately describe the false impression that the vehicles so parked have taken root and will never be moved, but fails to acknowledge the obvious flaw in the argument, namely that the only fruit they ever appear to bear is in the form of parking tickets.
The question of which car park in particular her majesty wishes to be interred under is to date a closely guarded secret known only to the Royal Household, the prime minister Mrs May, and her predecessor Mr Cameron, and Ms Jo Cooper the CEO of National Car Parks (NCP).
Similarly under wraps is the nature of the vehicle which will be parked in the royal slot by way of a memorial.
The Gold State Coach (with newly installed integral shower facilities) has already been pre-booked for future visits by the supreme leader, His Excellency, president for life, Donald Trump while the family of big black rollers will be required by Liz’ own family, for her funeral procession through central London.
Which leaves only her own personal Land Rover Defender, the car in which she famously drove the late Saudi Arabian Monarch King Abdullah at high speed around the royal Balmoral estate, demonstrating the skills she learned as a military truck driver for the Women’s Auxiliary Territorial Service of the British Army during the second world war.
And, by all accounts, scaring the living bejeezus out of him in the process.
A fitting epitaph for any monarch, and one any car park would be proud to host.
