There were further shock revelations from the ‘Paradise Papers’ today with the publication of extracts suggesting the Moon was declared a crown dependency in 2011 and has been turned into a tax haven.
LCD Views’ Tax, Manners and Small Nails specialist studied the extracts and provided the following breakdown:
“You’ve got to help me! I can’t do this anymore!”
The breakdown finished, he told us what he thought about the latest revelation.
“It’s hardly surprising,” Mr H.M Cola said, “With public awareness of the generally legal, but it is argued deeply immoral, use of offshore tax havens increasing steadily, and with it a clamour for reform, tax dodgers are having to go to greater and greater distances to hide their money.”
It’s believed three craters on the Moon are used as legal headquarters for businesses looking to “off planet” their assets, but those three craters are already the listed address of some 50K individual companies.
“They’re all in the Sea of Tranquility,” H.M. added, “although I suspect once the new EU regulations targeting tax avoidance come into force in 2019 they will either move to the dark side of the moon or perhaps London, should Brexit happen.”
As to how individuals set up their elaborate schemes is the subject of ongoing scrutiny.
“It’s all done electronically I suspect. I don’t believe anyone actually physically goes there to do it.”
The revelation has piqued the interest of a famous British electronic manufacturer who is rumoured to be planning a combined factory and pub (with a business colleague) so long as the regulations are sufficient to encourage competitive employment conditions.
Asked what they intended to do about the Moon a representative for the Treasury had this response,
“Wheel out some aged humanitarian to try and draw moral equivalency between billionaires avoiding tax and cash in hand workers like we always do. What do you want from us? The Moon on a stick?”