Parliament is to vote on amendment 7 on Wednesday which asks the best minds the United Kingdom can assemble under one generous benefits package if they’d like to continue doing the job they’re paid for or be replaced by a giant rubber stamp?
“It’s a tough call,” one MP told LCD on the condition of anonymity, “thinking can be really hard. The option to carry on letting May and Davis and other titans do the thinking for me is pretty tempting.”
They also have to weigh in the possibility that if they demand parliamentary sovereignty over the minor matter of Brexit then,
“My brain actually hurts. I’m trying to please all of the people all of the time, and it’s really difficult. Surely it’s better to sit this one out quietly in the corner and keep getting paid whether or not I turn up and work? A bit like a pampered domestic cat.”
Complicating the issue is the overwhelming anxiety of getting voted out at an election if they end up carrying a can hardly any of them think should be carried to begin with.
“Look. I had a friend who wanted to jump off a cliff. It was a very high cliff. I told them it was a bad idea. They said they were going to anyway, but could I give them a lift to the cliff as they didn’t have any bus fare.
So I drove them to the cliff. They’re still at the edge of it, last I looked, now I’ve got to decide whether or not I push them off, pull them back, or just hold hands and jump with them.
If I manage to land on top of them I might come away with only a broken hip. I’m sure they won’t survive the fall. It’s really difficult to decide what to do.”
Wednesday they get to all decide together at least and then, if they choose to become a rubber stamp it will make future choices much easier.
“I’m probably going to vote to become a big rubber stamp. That way, whatever happens afterwards won’t be my fault.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to finish reading this little article on ‘The Glorious Revolution’. I’m not really sure what that was all about. It was so long ago now.”