The thoughts of the American president are always something to be remembered for posterity, and it’s nice to have handwritten examples of them to live on after their deaths. However, there has been a glitch in the recent efforts to enshrine the thoughts – if that is the right word – of the current holder of that office.
Quite simply, he ate the ceremonial crayons.
Archivist Will Fileham had this to say on the matter:
“It’s strange to be using crayon in the first place, usually presidents like to use ink, indeed most of them like the olde worlde feel of a special fountain pen, or sometimes even a quill pen, although they can be tricky to get the hang of.
I remember Bill Clinton chose to use a quill, but kept using the feather bit to tickle an intern.
But with Donald Trump, he said absolutely no way, he wanted his thoughts enshrined in bright colours, so we offered to provide some specially made crayons for the purpose. He absolutely loved that idea, but then when we brought the special crayons, he mistook them for candy and ate them.”
The crayons took several weeks to make just right, using bees’ wax instead of the usual paraffin wax, and Trump ate them up in a matter of minutes.
“Not my fault,” Trump tweeted on the matter. “They should have said they weren’t candy. What kind of loser makes something look like candy and then not say it isn’t?”
Needless to say the crayons just looked in reality like normal crayons, albeit a little bit fancier. And nothing like sweets. Not that that stopped Trump.
“We now need to make them all over again,” Mr Fileham said. “That’s going to take more weeks. Oh well, on the plus side, it gives him more time to come up with some thoughts to write down.”
We can wait. We shall not, however, be holding our breath.