Priti Patel accused of wearing her heart on her sleeve

THE SOUND OF PUPPIES IN A SACK GOING SPLASH : THE UK’S HOME SECRETARY PRITI PATEL is accustomed to receiving criticism while just going about her day to day work of making life worse for people. But today is a new low.

In what should have been a day of victory, after Ms Patel published her new policies for asylum seekers, the Home Secretary has instead found herself on the receiving end of some brutal personal attacks on her character.

“She’s suggested allowing desperate people to actually reach our shores to begin with,” one keen observer noted. “This is a huge disappointment after last year she spent hundreds of millions of taxpayers’ money flying an RAF jet in circles over the English Channel in the hope of intimidating people into going back to France.”

Some of the criticism will surely smart with some even saying she is now “wearing her heart on her sleeve”.

How the Home Secretary will respond isn’t clear. There are low level rumours that she is far too generous with her staff and some fear she may love bomb underlings with expensive, hipster doughnuts and vouchers for things like mini-breaks in out of the way, executive holiday destinations. Anything to receive validation.

Other Patel followers have dismissed the accusations though and claimed the people saying it have not been paying attention.

“You should look closer at any of her press photos,” one instructed. “There’s a screaming circle of hell on her sleeve. Looking into it is like looking into the face of nightmare itself. Her heart has always been worn visibly on her sleeve.”

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