THE SMIRK THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHITS : The Home Secretary is not one to allow professionals to languish under well founded accusations of inappropriate behaviour, bullying or breaking codes of conduct.
In an exclusive interview with the bull dog of Sunday morning chat shows, Andrew Marr, she defended yet another high profile figure who has come in for more than his fair share of stick.
“Well you know Andrew that I have the utmost respect for everyone in the medical profession,” Ms Patel stated, when asked about the ongoing accusations of cannibalism surrounding the psychologist Doctor Hannibal Lecter. “It is very stressful treatin’ disturbed individuals and sometimes decisions have to be made quick.”
Mr Marr wasn’t letting her off so easy though.
“But are fava beans really the most appropriate choice of legume to eat with a human liver? Or indeed offal from any source? You must admit there are serious questions to be asked also about the decision to use fine bone China?”
Ms Patel laid a lengthy smirk on Mr Marr. Disarming him with her world beating charm.
“Doctor Lecter was doin’ a difficult job, actually, when he ate that liver,” Ms Patel repeated herself.
“But he wasn’t merely eating the census taker’s liver. He was working and consuming alcohol at the same time. Isn’t it possible that this behaviour isn’t entirely professional and less than should be expected?”
“Doctor Lecter was doin’ a difficult job, actually,” Ms Patel reiterated once more, as if caught in a time loop, “When he ate that liver. With a nice Chianti.”
“Well if you think Chianti is the right wine we will have to leave it there. Although I would have gone for a Boudreaux.”
A recipe was then posted for viewers at home in case they also were mildly irritated when taking a census. Oh, and instruction for where to source the vintage of your choice.