Priti Patel reportedly confused why everyone else in Europe still has FREEDOM of movement after she ended it

SOME VICTORIES ARE GRATER THAN OTHERS : The UK’s Home Secretary, the disgraced former Secretary for International Development, Priti ‘smirk’ Patel, is reported to be in a highly agitated and confused state today.

The reason for the distress is said to be the result of her leading the charge to end Freedom of Movement in Europe.

“It’s the usually bullying from Brussels,” an aide working closely with Patel told LCD Views, “they are refusing to acknowledge the primacy of British law over the continent. It’s rather pathetic and won’t help them one jot in their mad scramble to get a deal.”

But critics have pointed out that Mrs Patel may feel less confused if she understood the basic reality of what the UK has just ‘achieved’.

“Balderdash. Understanding reality gets in the way of the will of the people,” the addled aide retorted, “Brexit, and thus Brexiters, are happy socially distanced from reality, and have been since the start of the pandemic [of idiocy]. We’ve no intention to change now.”

And they may not change their mindsets, even as they set about dismantling the UK’s place in the 21st century, and indeed the UK.

“Freedom of movement has ended. Europe will just have to accept that, except for the thirty odd other countries that still have it. They can’t just breeze into the UK anymore. They’ll have to satisfy themselves with everywhere else in Europe. See how they like that!”

Definitely a major moment in the Brexit process which will be fully understood by the overwhelmingly majority in the fullness of time. Well, assuming they’re allowed a break in their serfdom sufficiently expansive to allow it.

Global Britons. Staying home. Definitely not just wandering over to Europe. This is what the people wanted. Middle men gobbling up their spending power as they attempt to try and do things they used to do for free.

“It’s all a storm in a teacup anyway,” the aide added, “just wait until Europe sees what we intend to do about the human rights act. The near sexual buzz Brexit MPs now feel at revelling in their engorged power to lord it over poorer Britons. Jealousy won’t be the right word for it.”

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