MARK MY WORDS: The government’s go-to solution for every problem is being wheeled out yet again. The Army will lead the fighting in the War On Covid, and who better to lead the cavalry than Little Mark Francois?
Operation Mincemeat, as this initiative has tentatively been named, will commence immediately. Or in other words, on Thursday. Or Friday. Or maybe Saturday, just after closing time. Or Sunday. No, leave it until Monday, because everybody knows that Covid doesn’t work at the weekend.
Unfortunately, there is no sign yet of the Clandestine Covid Threat Commander. The thick-as-Operation-Mincemeat Francois is still Missing In Action, or maybe AWOL. He is sayin’ nuttin’ and layin’ low. Even the good people of Rayleigh and Wickford have no idea where the tubby Territorial has got to.
Still, that is no hindrance for one of “Classic” Dom Cummings’ SuperPlans. The SuperForecaster, who SuperForecasted the need for a second lockdown a mere five weeks after SAGE recommended it, has never let practical concerns stand in the way of achieving His objectives.
Indeed, so urgent is the need for a lockdown and martial medicine that the latest skirmishes will not commence until the back end of the week. The stated reason, to paraphrase the Clandestine Covid Threat Commander himself, is because if Covid refuses to cooperate this time, then he will be obliged to pass the matter upstairs to Cummings, and Covid won’t like that, not one little bit.
The utter absence of visible leadership has characterised the current government’s world beating success. The UK is top of the league for infection rates per capita, and also for preventable deaths. This enviable success has led to a stronger, fitter, healthier population (if somewhat reduced in number), which is ideal preparation for the shortages of food, medicine, fuel and so forth come January.
Alas, there will inevitably be casualties of war, as the Crime Minister might as well have said. If, sadly, you die of Covid, then you take your Covid to the grave, and then who has the last laugh? We will remember them, virtue signalling with a Covid poppy, followed by an allegedly socially distanced booze-up at the local ‘Spoons.
Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori.