KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR NEIGHBOURS : GLOBAL BRITAIN has got Covid-19 in the bag!
From midnight yesterday* it is now illegal for more than one member of any household to contract Covid-19 in the United Kingdom.
The new restriction is to help slow the spread of this most virulent virus and stop the NHS becoming overwhelmed.
This is important.
As with the first wave of Covid-19 the most important aspect was/is the visuals.
It is not for British governments to see their hospitals overflow onto the pavement like careless continentals. This is entirely unnecessary when you have a well established and widespread privatised care home network.
It will also have the added benefit of dramatically reducing demand for Covid-19 tests as it will not be legal for anyone but mum, or dad, or a younger sibling, or a grandparent (in multi-generational households), or an older sibling, brother, sister, step-brother, step mum, visiting boyfriend who is supposed to be sleeping on the sofa, aunt or uncle fallen on hard times and staying in the box room while the divorce is finalised, or visiting exchange student to be infected at once.
“Essentially it is form an orderly queue,” an official claiming to be working with Matt Hancock told LCD Views, “one at a time please people. Show some decorum. You can’t all be sick at once. It’s not British.”
“This will also allow us to arrive at the cherished, sunlit upland of herd immunity, prior to the 2024 General Election. Covid-19 – let’s make a success of it!”
But in order to make the legislation effective we all have to do our bit.
“If you know of, or even suspect, a neighbouring property has more than one infected member you will be asked to call a new freephone number. After all your personal data is scraped a privatised police officer will be dispatched to arrest the offending parties.”
STAY ALERT – catch Covid-19 first and be sure everyone knows you had it first. This way the wrong people won’t get arrested.
*supporting legislation will be made by fiat and published in the usual channels once Dom has finished blogging it.