LCD Views can report today on the findings from the University of Digital Society, based in Plymoth, after their short lived research into the potential toxicity of social media abuse concluded.
“To be honest we didn’t crunch much data,” Professor Facepamphlet, Snapwaffle Department, told our pseudo-science correspondent, Dr Twatter, “it wasn’t necessary. It’s blindingly obvious what the problem is.”
Professor Facepamphlet, not everyone is an expert in the field of social media, in spite of being heavy consumers, would you care to illuminate?
“Hang on. I just liked an article on a new type of plug for [Ed. water] butts and now the ad placements in my timeline are a little eye catching! Just let me click on the link…”
Do you think that’s wise?
“Good point. I’ll wait till later.”
So what’s so blindingly obvious about the toxicity of over consumption of social media?
“Isn’t it obvious?”
OMG. Are you sure you’re not tenured to the University of Life?
“What? Sorry, I was distracted by an article covering Donald Trump’s latest fascist rantings. He’s not even pretending anymore. It’s terrifying. What the actual America? How bad does he need to get before you act to remove him?”
I think we can work out what the problem is without waiting for you to tell us.
“Excuse me? What was the question? I was reading an article embedded in another article about Theresa May’s psychological profile and how it impacts badly on her governing style.”
It’s because social media is many people’s main news source these days and these days, at least in certain countries that were supposed to be great examples of democracy, bastards are running the show and that’s incredibly depressing.
“What? I was not reading about how the world’s leaders have actually committed to tackling climate change and world poverty together after a realisation that if they don’t we’re all going to hell in a handcart. By the time we’ve seen off Trump and Brexit we will have lost a lot of time and a lot of biodiversity.”
Professor Facepamphlet, thank you for your time.
“Sorry, did you say something? I’ve just received a friend request from a twenty year old girl in a bikini, who I’ve never met, which seems a little odd.”