LCD Views knows everyone has a super power and some people even have more than one.
“It was no surprise to us that Will Self has two,” our ‘look into my eyes’ correspondent reveals,
“we know he can put words after words in a super way, we’ve read ‘The Great Apes’, even if we don’t have the vocabulary to praise the book sufficiently, but we didn’t know he also has the super power to place idiots in carbonite freeze with just his gaze.”
The revelation of the second power came earlier this week when Will faced off against ERG blowhard and all round prize turd in a bowl, Mark Francois, live on TV.
”Mark was blatantly and disingenuously trying to misconstrue Will’s words about the likelihood of racists and anti-semites being Brexit voters,” our analyst observed,
“which was a mistake, as Will was still there. Perhaps Mark was unable to see past his sense of unjustified entitlement and exceptionalism to realise?
“Or maybe he was thinking about the German passport he’ll apply for, most likely, so he still has FOM if he is successful in stripping it off millions of his compatriots? It’s hard to say. Either way he was ill advised to say anything while Will was still there, barely two feet away.”
What happened next was the big reveal.
”Will fixed him with his superior gaze, superior based on having a brain, most are superior to the ERG foot soldiers in this way, and then he put him into the freezer,” our analyst adds, “it was quite something to watch. Francois just about managed to put his mug of dickhead juice down before he froze completely. I suspect he’s likely to stay that way. Although it’s unlikely to impact his neurological functions as he doesn’t have anyway.”
Requests for Will Self to meet the rest of the ERG, and their carbon copies on the Labour benches. and save the U.K. are currently underway.