Questions asked over who paid PM to refurbish the United Kingdom as Little England

IMPERIAL NOSTALGIA FREAKS DAYDREAM : It’s not just who paid for the remake of No. 11 Downing Street that is in people’s minds tonight but the bigger question of what happened to the United Kingdom overall.

“In 2012 the UK had some trouble brewing, largely because it had elected a bunch of posh voiced chancers to run it again, but overall it was still a country that could stage the Olympics and present a proud picture to the world,” our Petri Dish specialist observes. “Now? It’s a total shitshow. What happened? Who paid for it to happen?”

Many have their theories, the most likely of which being it was paid for by an international clique of libertarian, neo-fascist, kleptocratic, feudally minded sociopaths who saw converting the UK into a solely money laundering operation as quite the laugh.

“Clearly they had to get the UK out of the EU first. The EU. So boring. So committed to enfranchising people at birth with rights. Yawn. Happily for the clique there was a divine coming together of Lexiters and Brexiters to get that Brexit done. The majority of the rest of the political class just stood about dumbfounded trusting common sense to return. Good luck with that!”

But now though as the pandemic focuses minds the fog that has covered the land since June 2016 is slowly starting to tear apart. It reveals a much diminished country at risk of completely tearing itself to shreds.

“Who paid for it? Someone did. Maybe the same person who paid for No. 11 Downing Street to resemble an old world Ottoman harem?”

Who knows? Someone knows. It would be good to know. Maybe the BBC could find out if the prime minister knows? Whoever that will be by next week.

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