MAY CONTAIN NUTS : A racist ice cream company, ‘Breaking Point Ice Cream – Ice Cream for Patriots’, set up to take market share off the “bleeding heart liberal snowflakes” Ben & Jerry’s has gone into receivership already.
The project was the brain child of a well known English potatriot who initially sought to fund the company from a subscription based model, with the idea of making only proper British flavours.
“That was successful, it raised £2m in a few months from thousands of gullible idiots via paypal,” the company CEO told LCD Views, “and after we successfully bid for, without tender, a UK government PPE contract? Well. Who wants to work for a living! Ha! Hence the receivership. I’m off to watch the Kent coast and take in the sea breeze.”
But in spite of the (former) CEO’s exuberance, there are some who suspect the reason for the collapse of the racist ice cream company is more closely related to its founding premise.
“What flavours were they planning on producing that would have mass appeal?” our ice cream specialist asks.
“Vanilla? Appropriate but the vanilla pods come from Mexico, so that’s out, as its forrin. Chocolate? You can see the issues there! And even the milk is problematic. The most common indigenous breed of British dairy cattle, the South Devon, they come from Norman stock. French! In fact ice cream itself is a European food. It’s a total minefield for a proper, Saint George Cross wearing patriot. He was Turkish or Syrian or something, by the way.”
Maybe he’d be better off setting up a fish ‘n chip shop?
“Do you know the heritage of fish and chips? Don’t even go there.”