WEAR IT WITH PRIDE : The sound and sober economic managers temporarily installed in Downing Street have the British chequebook out again today to help patriotic Britons celebrate Brexit.
“We’re all Brexiters now,” a spokesman for the Chancellor told LCD Views, “even tens of millions of people who believe it is nonsense and don’t want a bar of it. So too the majority of MPs who are prepared to go down in history (as things stand) as the last parliament of the United Kingston.”
The t-shirts have been designed at massive expense by relatives of the current government.
“You can’t keep everyone signed up to the rights stripping, unchecked free market revolution in insulin costs if they don’t see a tangible, personal benefit,” the spokesman said, “So a t-shirt seems symbolic and important. A white t-shirt to celebrate the primary colour of the changes being experienced by our bold, seafaring, soon to be global trading, buccaneering, t-shirt wearing country.”
While the gift will be free on receipt, wearing them will be a matter of primary legislation.
“Clearly choosing to not wear your Brexit t-shirt will be symbolic of being a fifth columnist, collaborator with the unelected, technocratic, t-shirt hating busybodies in the EU. We suggest you wear it. Wear it with pride.”
But questions have been asked as to why the design does not feature a Union Jack? The first flag ever to be flown on Earth by any country and clearly the best.
“That’s because we don’t know how the flag will look after Brexit,” the spokesman shrugged, “but the lower tax rates, abolition of basic human rights and asset stripping promised by Brexit is judged to be worth it.”
Your Brexit t-shirt, wear it with pride, and help celebrate the Boris Johnson Eton mess.