BREXITING ON EUROPEAN TIME : 10 DOWNING STREET HAVE CONFIRMED TONIGHT THAT A RECORDING OF BIG BEN WILL PLAY AT 11PM (GMT) TO MARK BREXIT.
It had been hoped that the famous bell would toll to mark the end of the United Kingdom in person, but there are reports of trouble getting it to comply.
“The bell is not happy,” an insider in the Elizabeth Tower told LCD Views, “it is closely associated with British democracy, one of the symbols of the Mother of Parliaments, and after yesterday’s sham in the Houses of Parliament it has declared enough is enough and refused to cooperate.”
Why a mere few hours of debate on the legislation affecting the final act of Brexit was unacceptable to the bell isn’t yet clear, as that is now the democratic standard in the United Kingdom. More power to the executive and less for elected representatives. It’s what the reps voted for after all. Mercifully their pay and conditions are unaffected.
The embarrassment of the bell’s refusal will definitely come as a surprise to Brexiters, who are all idiots.
But happily recordings of the famous bongs do exist and one will be played to mark the time the UK regains the sovereignty it never lost. The time chosen is midnight across the channel, so 11pm GMT. Because nothing better symbolises the UK’s new status as a global powerhouse than following European time in its first symbolic action.
“The only concern is keeping the bell safe from Tory parliamentarians. Mark Francois wants to ring it with his head. Which can’t be allowed as no one would hear the bell over the reverberations in his cavernous skull.”