Breaking news reports this morning indicate that Saint George has been rushed to a local accident and emergency department this morning after mistaking a steam train for a dragon.
It appears the well known saint and monster killer was out early walking his poodle Montagu when he witnessed what he believed to be smoke rising from a nearby ravine.
LCD Views spoke to the only witness.
“There was a strange man all kitted out in armour, with a sword and a flag, one of those ones with a red cross on a magnolia background,” Ms Charlie Capulet observed,
“I thought he was a film extra. They do filming around here a fair bit. Anyway, the local steam train appreciation society, the Bluebell Railway, do a run every week and I could hear the train coming and see its plume.”
So could Saint George.
“He started shouting at me in a language that sounded arabic but not? Maybe actually an archaic form of Turkish? It had Latin words mixed in.
Anyway, when he could see I didn’t understand he switched to olde English. He was trying to warn me and pointing at the steam. He gave me his poodle and rushed into the gully with his sword raised shouting about saving me. It was a little dim, but very heroic.”
It seems Saint George managed to stand in front of the steam train and face it down, but the cowcatcher at the front lifted him clean off his feet as he was swinging his sword.
“He flew through the air for about ten metres and landed in a bramble patch. I tied his dog up to a tree and rushed down. He’s just bruised and shaken up I think. I called an ambulance and put him in the recovery position. That was hard! Plate armor and chainmail is very heavy.”
Reports from The Royal Infirmary suggest Saint George is expected to make a full recovery, once some bruising and concussion clears, although that is likely to happen while he waits in the ambulance to just get inside A&E.
“He’s very sweet. He keeps dispatching pigeons to ask if I’m alright? I don’t know why he doesn’t just phone me? The big duffer.”