Branches of The Samaritans across the country have been placed on red alert. The UK has shown itself to be determined to commit economic suicide, and is refusing to back down.
The Samaritans will not intervene without a direct request. However it is believed that the cry for help may come at any time. All leave has been cancelled for the brave volunteers who man the phones.
The state of mind of the UK has been in question for some time. Mostly, the bad voices have been kept under control. However, a serious lapse of judgement in 2016 has allowed the suicide advocates to take control.
The Autumn Budget is likely to be a critical point. It could prompt the UK to make the call. Alternatively, it could force the UK even closer to the precipice.
Skilled negotiators are already trying to talk the UK down off the cliff edge. It appears that the UK is refusing to listen to reason. Instead, all advice not corresponding with the bad voices in the head is dismissed as coming from saboteurs, mutineers, or, most damningly, experts.
LCD Views spoke to mental health guru Dr Ed Case. “Many mental issues can be resolved with cognitive behaviour therapy, or CBT,” stated Dr Case. “This involves educating the subject to recognise the signs that the bad voices are becoming louder, and teaching strategies to counter them.”
Dr Case gave examples and case histories, before concluding: “In the most severe instances, a patient must be sectioned for their own protection. This is what Brexit will achieve. The UK will be isolated from the rest of the world and sedated until the worst is over. Then a cautious period of re-education and rehabilitation will be undertaken. When sufficient progress has been made, CBT will allow the UK to avoid future trauma.”
Meanwhile, the state of emergency at The Samaritans look unlikely to be lifted any time soon.