Sovereignty now one of the main food groups, according to government

Millions of starving patriots are being kept alive by the miracle of Brexit. They are being nourished by the newly defined wonder food, Sovereignty, while they wait for fish quotas to revert to British fishermen.

The Government is following the science here, and the scientists have been paid to say the right things. Sovereignty, they say, is more nutritious and delicious than fish and chips, a skinful of cheap lager, and a cheeky kebab on the way home.

“That is the diet that made Britain great!” gushed gastronomic genius Ed Sheph. “The healthy glow that comes of an intake of carbs, alcohol, fat and salt is world renowned, world beating, even, dare I say it!”

There’s nothing like gammon. But, we asked, what’s the best way to serve Sovereignty?

“Sovereignty is a dish best served cold,” replied Sheph. “If heated, it can lead to arguments breaking out. And overcooked Sovereignty makes you look ridiculous. It’s best taken with a pinch of salt.”

Small portions, or large?

“The bigger the better,” said Sheph. “Large amounts of Sovereignty make you literally swell with pride! But be careful, it can be addictive, and overindulgence can lead to sleeping with a Union Jack in bed with you.”

We wondered what exactly was The Science behind making Sovereignty one of the main food groups.

“Actually, it’s now the ONLY food group,” Sheph admitted. “In fact, it’s now the most important substance in the world. Ultra patriots have been known to quit their job, sell their home, and take off their clothes so that they may spend eternity basking in Sovereignty. If there was any integrity remaining in government scientists, they might suspect these individuals to be mentally disturbed, deranged and deluded. As well as denuded.”

The starving millions desperate for the delayed food supplies only have themselves to blame. A little belief, a little more faith in Brexit, and the Sovereignty could have been theirs too.

Sovereignty is available in boil in the bag, oven ready and half baked varieties.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *