CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE : The peoples of Spain and France are in a grateful mood today as they consider the tireless efforts of British tabloids to promote their best interests.
Particular praise is being levelled at The Express, one of Global Britain’s most enthusiastic heralds, and their new drive to get Brexiters to boycott Spain and France.
While some are concerned that without Brexiters the economies of the countries face almost instantaneous collapse, the laidback continentals seem sanguine over their looming implosions.
“We would like to express our intense gratitude to The Express and indeed the other British tabloids, The Telegraph and The Spectator, for their daily drip feed of factually incontinent trash into the minds of their readers. The latest effort from The Express evokes from us a surge of warm feelings words can not possibly hope to convey.”
It seems the letter is based not only on the present, but what appears to be a boundless optimism for the future.
“It has been especially trying to witness people voting to cut their nose off constantly believing they have won something, by reducing their own rights in our countries. Simultaneously trashing the rights of the children of our lands back in the UK. Furthermore the confusion and understandable frustration of UK citizens who know exactly the travesty that is occurring, having to politely converse with Brexiters in the Spanish, or French sun. Once the Express has successfully won the argument for a boycott of our grateful nations by idiots, we will all be much happier.”
It’s not entirely clear how the letter will be received in the offices of the trash tabloid. This is predominately because it will come as a complete shock to discover that people in France and Spain can not only understand, but write in English.