Staff urged to call matadors and chase bull out of china shop

Animal behaviour experts have advised the managers of the Foreign Office China Shop to call in matadors and finally deal with the bull rampaging about the shop floor.

“He’s not going to stop. You can see he’s out of control. Look at all the Royal Doulton he’s broken already! Heaven help us if he has another chaotic run about in the Persian ware section. And the Mings!”

It’s believed the bull initially gained access to the China shop because the head of sales, Ms T. May, found him waiting outside the door on her first day of work and let him inside.

“Apparently she was anxious as to what he might do in the brownfield site next to the car park behind the shop and just opened the door and invited him in. What a baffling choice! You could see he was going to be trouble by the way he’s always dragging those hooves across the floor, even when seemingly immobile for short spells.”

It’s believed it shouldn’t be necessary to harm the bull to get it outside, just stand in the entrance and wave about a red flag that has hearts all over it and he’ll come charging.

“The only other option is to wait until he’s properly trashed the whole showroom, gets bored, and wanders off to greener pastures. But he may well do some serious harm to some of the customers who are trapped inside with him. Reports suggest he’s already badly bruised one lady.”

LCD Views believes action should be taken asap. Call the matadors! Who is going to want to shop at the Foreign Office China Shop while a bull is rampaging about, smashing carefully crafted porcelain to pieces?

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