BRASS NECK : A WELCOME SIGHT is set to greet Brexit voters ejected as illegal immigrants from EU27 countries upon their return to England with the revelation that a statue in their honour is to be installed at the arrivals terminal at Heathrow Airport.
The plan is said to be the brainchild of an anonymous minister in Mr Johnson’s cabinet who hasn’t stopped travelling all through the pandemic, and for whom most of the current travel restrictions are tailored to suit.
“He kept passing the lines at the immigration hall, via the preferential treatment access, and thinking how nice it would be if any of the people lined up had a welcoming face to greet them. Especially if they were an ex-pat who for reasons best left unmentioned did not choose to apply for residency in their former home.”
The statue will be paid for by public subscription and is believed will be designed and installed by the weekend.
“The Prime Minister himself is said to have given the idea the greenlight while completely hammered on claret the other night,” the source reveals. “As such it is now top priority, as with any idea he likes while hammered.”
The materials to be used in the composition of the proud statue will be mostly brass around the neck, clay for the feet with an entirely empty inside.
“We’re going to stand it on a plinth sprinkled with sand from the Costa del Sol. People who have made themselves useful idiots for the international cartel of kleptocrats driving Brexit deserve to be honoured in a fitting way.”
No plans have yet been drawn up to commemorate the stress, hardship, expense and utter moral crime perpetrated on EU27 citizens who settled legally in the UK in the years before their rights were involuntarily downgraded by the British electorate.
“Who cares about immigrants?” the source added. “We do. It’s clear in our every act.”