SOVEREIGNTY IS GOLDEN : A dramatic event in the man made maritime English region of Kent has led to a boost for Brexit Britain’s self-sufficiency.
While news media outlets (chasing sensationalism) have blasted out alarmist stories of gridlocked truckers filling Kent to overflowing with wee, few have bothered to look for the tangible benefits.
Happily a group of Conservative MPs called the PRG (Pee Research Group) have set themselves up (at taxpayers expense) to look into how this bout of collective micturation can be to the advantage of Global Britons.
“Traditional British firepower has always been in an Englishman’s todger,” Roger Dulltree, MP for Wessex, told LCD Views, “and once again as we wave our willies at Europe we will be showing them a full barrel.”
The robust statement is well backed up, just like the truckers in Kent, by the ability of England to return to the traditional method of making gunpowder.
“Brown Bess wasn’t fired with a Frenchman’s pale liquid,” Dulltree continues, “or a German’s darkened flow. No. Traditional British musketry was primed with the byproduct of patriotic wee!”
The recommendation to begin collecting the inland sea, and the chemicals contained within, to make gunpowder has been welcomed. But not only by the suddenly aquatic residents of Kent.
“When Englishmen go to war over fish against the French next year,” a 10 Downing Street source said, “they will be fired up with patriotic powders. Take that Frenchie! You just try and blockade Dover! You’ll only be giving us more firepower!”