Tory MP “saddened” to hear poor are drinking hand sanitiser from dispensers at train stations like “shots”

DRINK IT FREDDY DRINK IT : A junior minister has taken to Twitter today to decry the new habit of commuters drinking complimentary hand sanitiser at train stations.

The contact free dispensing stations have been installed throughout most train stations in the hope of encouraging better hygiene in people travelling to and from work, and or to eye tests.

“Apparently it’s the high alcohol content of the hand sanitiser,” The MP told LCD Views, “once a working class commuter gets one whiff of that when wiping it across their hands they’re straight back to the dispenser with their mouth wide open. Clearly a better class of passenger wouldn’t drink it, as the vintage is dubious. And they’d be travelling by helicopter anyway.”

The MP suggests the hand sanitiser stations should still be available on a pay for use basis, so commuters think twice before “taking the hand sanitiser like participants on a hen or rooster night, irresponsibly drinking shots of vodka.”

She has asked train staff what can be done to better protect themselves and passengers from the clear abuse of the system.

“This is just like the story I heard about parents using free school meal vouchers to buy cheap, high strength alcohol,” the MP added, “definitely not a made up story to attempt deflection from the billions of pounds of taxpayers money that appears to have been thrown out the back door of Downing Street during the Covid-19 crisis.”

And definitely not an attempt to unfairly smear welfare recipients in the tradition of former Chancellor George “curtain twitchers” Osborne.

“Maybe the hand sanitiser could be exchanged for a station of soap and water? Anyone who isn’t prepared to take a few minutes to sing the national anthem and wash their hands while commuting probably isn’t worth saving from Covid-19 anyway.”

The MP in question is expected to be re-elected with an increased majority at the next election.

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