MASS MIGRATION: Many Tory MPs and right wing commentators have had enough of certain social media networks. They are concerned about the amount of racism on Twitter, and feel that there isn’t enough.
Trouble is, on Twitter you get all these snotty snowflake lefty Telegraph reading types who disagree with you. This is not good for democracy, argues at least one Tory MP, who has abandoned Twitter for good. Instead, he is now spouting his bile on the Trump-friendly Parler platform.
“Free speech is vital for my ego,” claims Tory MP Rich Liszt. “It is important that I make my points on social media without a pile-on from loads of traitors and bleeding heart BLM whingers deflecting from my core message. This is why I am now on Parler.”
In other words, you just want an echo chamber where everyone will agree with you?
“Not at all,” said Liszt. “I didn’t come into politics to have a debate about what are, after all, traditional British values. I want to remind the great unwashed of the right and proper way to think!”
Isn’t dissent good for debate, sharpening up issues, compromise?
“What are you, some kind of subversive?” growled Liszt. “We don’t want people to think. We want them to get angry and then react.”
Like your followers, who find a picture of a woman enjoying an ice lolly offensive, but are fine with a pissed up yob urinating next to a memorial?
“Exactly the sort of people this country needs,” agrees Liszt. “This is a platform to discuss good, old-fashioned British attitudes. Where dusky types know their place, which is either Nambia, or else cleaning my mansions!”
On a zero hours contract, no doubt.
“Contract?” exploded Liszt. “They will do as they are told, since they would be my property. White people matter, and we need to Take Back Control from all the dirty foreigners polluting this great country with their disgusting liberal ideas!”
Just wait until he finds out that the word Parler is actually French.