WHAT’S THE SOUND OF ONE HAND FLAPPING : Attendees at US President Donald Trump’s 1930’s tribute rallies are used to merchandising opportunities, but over the weekend at Tulsa a new line took centre stage.
“The decision to retail Trump brand sippy cups was taken by Mr Trump himself,” a small, swivel eyed sprite from a deep circle of Hell told LCD Views, “why just get the tee-shirt? When you can have an appropriately modelled cup to drink your kool aid from?”
“The cups are only available as sippy cups, the better to honour Mr Trump’s display of leadership where he drank a glass of water with one hand! What better qualification do you need for the man who has the nuclear codes?”
The water drinking performance has gone a long way to dispel rumours that Mr Trump is suffering from a degenerative neurological condition in addition to his narcissism, racism, rage, short attention span, sociopathy and all the rest. Look! Man in his seventies holds cup, drinks and doesn’t spill! Of course he had to throw it away after as he doesn’t have the coordination required to place it on a table.”
And while some may believe it’s unbecoming to focus on what is clearly now a disease, we won’t even use Mr Trump famously mocking a disabled reporter in his 2016 election campaign as a defence. After all, he did that with two hands.
“Do you want a famously stable genius, occupying arguably the most powerful public office in the world, to be hiding a disease that is slowly crippling him mentally? While he’s running for another term of office? Well, do you? It depends on how much MAGA you’ve got in your cup.”