THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE WATER : The U.K. government is adopting a tough stance against the fledgling US administration of Biden and Harris today after a world beating diplomatic snub.
A cross party foreign affairs committee has been tasked by 10 Downing Street with coming up with a suitable response after the U.K. was not allowed in to the bilateral US and EU talks conducted today.
“Dominic Raab was kept waiting on the Zoom link for hours. He even postponed his mid-morning mindfulness session for it. But he was never admitted. There’s a whiff of a set up about it all. That he was sent the link for just that purpose,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “He’s fuming. He had to have his personal physician tap some pressure out of his pulsating temple vein. There was serious risk of brain damage. And he’s suffering from more than enough of that as it is, just by virtue of being who he is.”
And while the EU maybe easy enough for Downing Street to punish, by way of the threat of a ban on mineral water, the US is a little harder to tackle.
“The cross party committee, or Atlantic Bridge as they’re known, are going to come up with several suggestions. But top of the list is a ban on MAGA hats from the US.”
Critics have been quick to point out that such a ban could quickly backfire, as the hats are only popular in the U.K. with fans of Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
“That’s a risk we are prepared to accept. I’m sure once the PM explains his thinking to them in 80’s environmental cliches and pigeon Ancient Greek they’ll get behind him,” the source was confident. “After all, people in America can’t get rid of the hats fast enough now. This will really hurt Biden.”