UK government hires maritime trade expert to create IT system for Dover/Calais border

Q. WHAT’S A PIRATE’S FAVOURITE POST BREXIT BORDER : The UK Government has signalled experts are back in favour as the country approaches the end of the Brexit transition period.

“Trade will become more difficult and expensive,” an aide to Michael Gove told LCD Views, “but that’s a Brexit benefit. And besides that’s only for lily-livered landlubbers who lack the grit and buccaneering spirit to make the most of Brexit.”

And make the most of Brexit Brits are encouraged to do, as that’s the most patriotic thing to do.

“There maybe some hiccups, naturally, as people adjust to the new reality,” an aide conceded, “especially as the new reality may resemble the 18th century. That being the case I can’t entirely promise it won’t cost you an arm and a leg. But that’s a pirate’s life for you.”

And Gove’s department, responsible for ensuring the seamless end to the transition, isn’t sitting idly smashed out of their brains on coke, or rum. There’s work to do.

“Experts are back in favour!” the aide reveals, “And The Duchy of Gove wants to fill its world with them. To show this we have a star hire to help us design the new customs border at Dover.”

And a world beating hire it is.

“We ran our flag up a pole and waited for the right man to hobble forward. Blackbeard carries a wealth of experience in maritime trade, especially customs borders, so we believe he is the right man to design no less than ten new IT systems. Ready to go by the end of this year. Four of them from scratch. It’s going to be world class.”

We asked Blackbeard for comment, but he wasn’t available. So to make up for it we’ll answer the question posed at the beginning of this article.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *