FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT IS JUST FOR THE RICH : DOWNING STREET has some sound advice for fishermen facing unemployment today, as Brexit continues to go off in their industry like a stick of dynamite in a herring shoal.
“No one wants fish. It took Brexit for us to discover that. The industry was propped up before merely by belief in fishing. Now the belief is gone, so is the market,” a 10 Downing Street spokesman said. “We’ve essentially done the British fishing community an incredible favour. One of self-realisation. No one wants to discover, years from now, with their dying breath that they had been living a lie for years, thinking they were a fisherman.”
The opportunity to know oneself deeper is not the only advantage to come out of Brexit for the fishermen.
“Clearly they now have to retrain. Happily, thanks to the combined forces of Brexit ending Freedom of Movement (for plebs) and a lethal mismanagement of the ‘just like a flu’ pandemic, there is a gaping skills shortage facing the United Kingdom as we build back never. And it’s not just in construction work that we are short of tens of thousands. It’s not just in brains in the cabinet that the hole is yawning ever wider. It’s in the au pair sector too. Fishermen are good at handling large schools of rapidly moving creatures. They will make natural au pairs, once they get their land legs. And the £100 a week they’ll earn will be more than they’ll earn from fishing! Look at the benefits.”
But what about the loss of cultural exchange, the deepening of understanding between Brits and people from all over the European continent? Surely we want to retain that exchange.
“Mate. You’re not up to speed yet with Brexit. Deeper understanding of the continent? That’s the last thing the Empire freaks in Downing Street want to achieve. In fact, quite the opposite. Now run along and wait for your turn to experience unemployment.”