Virgin Media has come under fire today for continuing to stalk lost customers even after death, once they’re in the afterlife.
The shocking revelation came about after a bereaved widow successfully contacted her deceased husband during a seance with a local psychic.
“We got hold of Barry,” a distressed Mrs Barry told LCD’s Virgin never gives it up correspondent. “I had expected him to say it’s alright love, don’t worry about me, I’m in a better place now, but that wasn’t how it went.”
It seems the psychic, famous locally for predicting the winner of the 1974 Grand National, advised Mrs Barry that she could only keep contact with her lost husband for seconds, so not to waste a moment.
“I said Barry, Barry? Can you hear me love?” Mrs Barry related, “He replied, yes my flower, the line is a bit scratchy but I can hear you.”
Mrs Barry then started to ask Mr Barry what he has done with the little slip of paper that had the BT broadband wifi password written on it? But Barry interrupted her, sounding angry and frustrated.
“Tell Virgin to sod off! We switched from them five years ago because I didn’t like the service. They chased me into the grave with sales letters and now I’m getting them in the bleeding afterlife! Enough is enough. Cut it out!”
Mrs Barry was unable to ask anymore questions because the psychic lost the connection at that point and Barry drifted back across the division between the mortal plane and the afterlife.
“I’m gutted. I haven’t been able to get online since Barry passed away and now it seems I’ll be stuck without Netflix forever.”
LCD write to Virgin Media to inquire if they didn’t think their chasing of lost customers was a little too persistent?
They sent us four hundred and fifty seven sales letters in reply and more are arriving each day. We are to move offices shortly to make them go away.